How do you approach mentoring in a context of diversity and inclusion?

In recent years, the concepts of equity, diversity and inclusion have definitely come to the fore, placing them at the heart of contemporary concerns for corporate managers. Unsurprisingly, mentoring can be a powerful tool for navigating these social issues. Differences in experience, viewpoints and backgrounds between mentor and mentee offer a great potential for growth, discovery and opportunities.. This diversity can, however, lead to challenges in the mentoring relationship.

So how do you deal with these challenges? How do you build a lasting mentoring relationship when navigating diversity?

The Elo team spoke to Chloé Freslon, founder and president of URelles, to find out more. The aim is to provide you with food for thought and tools to help you better address diversity and inclusion in your mentoring.

Unconscious biases

Your personal and professional life path has shaped the person you are today, and contributed to your vision of the world and the people around you. This is true whether you’re a mentor or a mentee, and the way you interact with others is inevitably influenced by it. This is what we call unconscious biases and we all have them. According to Chloé Freslon, these pre-conceived prejudices can have a major impact on your mentoring relationship, compromising your communication with your mentor or mentee, for example, and potentially even their confidence in you.

What unconscious biases should we be particularly aware of when mentoring?

Chloé Freslon shares two examples of common mentoring biases below, but the list is by no means exhaustive.

“Gender bias: This bias can influence the way women perceive themselves. For example, while men are socialized to be confident, assertive and self-promoting, women are socialized to diminish and underestimate their professional skills and achievements. This reluctance to self-promote could mean that they receive advice from mentors that is below their professional ambitions, because they wouldn’t verbalize it in the same way as a man.

Another unconscious bias in relationships is the affinity bias. We like similarity and familiarity. We’re easily attracted to people who look like us, and we feel close to people who remind us of ourselves. Affinity bias is reflected in the fact that mentors may tend to select mentees who are likely to follow a similar path and use similar techniques to advance their careers. Similarly, mentees are also attracted to the mentors they aspire to become. Given that the majority of managers are white, cis, heterosexual men, they may tend to mentor people who look like them, thus neglecting others.”

What postures and best practices should we adopt as mentors and mentees to ensure the success of the relationship?

Mentors, here are a few tips to prevent your unconscious biases from tainting your mentoring relationship:

• Question your unconscious biases: take time to reflect on your own life experiences and cultural influences to identify any unconscious biases you may have. It can be helpful to talk to trusted colleagues or friends to get different perspectives;
• Show cultural humility, kindness and respect;
• Question your first impressions and assumptions, and base your opinion on facts;
• Take the time to get to know each other well: participants who get to know each other on a personal level find it easier to have frank discussions or to be vulnerable with their mentoring partner;
• Adopt an active listening mode and ask questions to help the other person feel comfortable and valued.
• Welcome constructive feedback with an open mind and don’t apologize excessively;
• Don’t generalize or stigmatize;
• Avoid “savior”, “protector” or overly “patriarchal” postures;
• Learn about your role as a mentor.

Mentees, our team also has ideas to help your mentor help you:

• Ask your mentor questions about his or her knowledge of your position/reality;
• Open up the dialogue by putting your cards on the table;
• Don’t hesitate to change mentor if you don’t feel the match is right for you;
• Attending a mentoring training session can be a good way to prepare yourself to start a relationship, especially in a particular context;

To go even further

, in some cases, Chloé Freslon suggests a different approach to the relationship: “We could think of a less traditional form of mentoring, bilateral mentoring. In this scenario, mentoring as we usually imagine it is reversed. In other words, the older employee learns from the younger mentee. This style is ideal for giving a fresh perspective to people already in management positions. Be careful, however, that it doesn’t become a burden for the mentee to educate the other person.” That’s exactly what the team at Medtronic France, an Elo customer for several years now, is doing, has decided to implement to promote diversity and inclusion within the company.

Chloé also mentions that getting the right match between mentor and mentee can take effort and thought.

It may be beneficial for program coordinators, for example, to make their own matches to meet more specific needs. Alternatively, participants can of course match themselves, in which case it’s a good idea to have real discussions right from the start, to manage mutual expectations.

Chloé also adds that “it’s preferable to have people who understand a minimum of the other person’s reality. She underlines the following point: “the more you belong to a so-called majority group, the easier it is to have a mentor who looks like you. Imagine being a queer black woman and wishing for a mentor who understands the obstacles that might be encountered, and you’ll realize how difficult it is to find a match.”

Finally, Chloé Freslon also stresses the importance of training participants to prepare them for the mentoring relationship. She recommends “ensuring that the mentee has the skills or experience desired for the good of the relationship. Training on unconscious biases and microaggressions would surely be very relevant to make the relationship pleasant for both sides.”

If you are planning to launch or recommend an EDI mentoring program in your company, Elo Mentoring can help you set up and manage this type of program! Here are a few winning tips on the subject.