Supporting Without Giving Direct Answers: 6 Practical Strategies for Mentors

One of the biggest challenges in the mentor role is resisting the urge to offer quick advice or ready-made solutions. And yet, that’s exactly where mentoring has its greatest impact — in the space we leave for the mentee to think, explore, and make their own decisions.

1. Use the power of open-ended questions

Open-ended questions spark reflection and help the mentee organize their thoughts. Avoid questions that begin with “Have you thought about…” — they often hide a disguised suggestion.

“What options do you see right now?”“If you could start over, what would you do differently?”

2. Share your experiences, not your solutions

Sharing a personal story can be helpful, as long as it’s not framed as “the right answer.” The goal is to open up perspectives.

“When I faced a similar situation, here’s what I did. But I’m sure there are other ways too. What do you think?”

3. Encourage perspective-taking

Helping your mentee step back from emotion or urgency often leads to greater clarity. Simply rephrasing a situation can shift how it’s perceived.

“If you had to explain this situation to someone else, how would you describe it?”

4. Rephrase to structure their thinking

Rephrasing what you hear — without judgment or steering — helps the mentee clarify their ideas and better express what they’re experiencing.

“If I understand correctly, you’re hesitating between X and Y, and you’re trying to figure out which one better aligns with your priorities. Is that right?”

5. Reinforce the mentee’s confidence in their own abilities

A mentor’s role also includes reminding the mentee of the resources they already have. This helps build autonomy and confidence.

“You’ve gotten through tough situations before. What worked well for you at that time?”

6. Provide structure without taking over

You can help structure their thinking, point out blind spots, suggest possibilities… but avoid laying out a fixed path. The goal is to guide them toward autonomy by offering helpful reference points.

Why does this matter?

Supporting someone without giving them all the answers means giving them the space to chart their own course — and fully commit to it.

This approach reduces dependency, encourages decision-making, and fosters real autonomy by helping the mentee develop their own way of reading and navigating situations.

What about you — which strategy do you use to support without directing?

Have you ever found it hard to resist jumping in with “the solution”?

Source: Yvon Chouinard, Feedback in Mentoring: How to Give It, Receive It, and Ask for It